In the Morning

Once my alarm goes off in the morning, I immediately hit the snooze button. Every 5 minutes, my alarm clock continues to remind me that it is time to rise, but again I hit the snooze button. I will wait until the very last possible second to pull back the sheets and place my feet on the cold wood floor. By the time I actually get out to bed, I'm already running 10 minutes late and so begins a frenzy to just get out the front door. In an attempt to save some time, I skip making coffee which means I'm going to spend the better half of my day cranky because I didn't get my morning fix. I typically don't have much time to talk to my husband before leaving and if I do it is probably rushed and my contribution to the conversation is usually less than stellar.

And then I go to church on Sunday, where I'm indirectly asked, "Are you spending time with the Lord every morning?" Ouch.

Why don't I spend time with the Lord every morning? I could probably come up with a dozen reasons, but the fact is that I am making a conscious choice everyday to ignore my Creator and stick to the status quo. I am making the decision that I can maintain my own life and that I don't need any help. Until, I am faced with a situation greater than myself and am reminded that am not able and am in need of my savior.

This is why it is so important to devote time every morning to the Lord. It is an opportunity for me to focus on my savior, to read His words, and to renew my spirit.

Psalm 5:3

³ My voice shalt thou hear in the morning, O Lord; in the morning will I direct my prayer unto thee, and will look up.

The Uexpected Outcome

There are few times in life when you can step back and suddenly see how everything fits together perfectly--almost as if that was the way it was always meant to be. And most importantly, each piece of that puzzle was uniquely memorable. It all held a purpose in who you are.

I grew up being reminded on a regular basis that I was not very smart; and to make matters worse, I was a very slow learner too. I usually would study longer and practice more than other children my age, just to achieve a passing grade. I knew I was really trying, but it just didn't seem to come easy. I watched as my peers finished schoolwork in a matter of minutes while it took me hours and even days sometimes. At an early age, I had accepted that I would not go far with my education and the best plan was to find a good husband and be a housewife. I was quite happy with that plan, but as life would have it things went differently.

My senior year of high school, I found myself enrolled in a junior college taking everything from writing classes to math and computer courses. By the time I transferred to a 4 year college, I had a 3.8 GPA. It still took me 7 years to graduate from college; but when I was handed that diploma and turned back, there was nothing left of that young girl who had little-to-no esteem for herself or her abilities. Somewhere, that girl had learned perseverance, determination, and an ability to keep on going regardless of the circumstance.

I can't speak to whether each event that occurred during my journey was called into being by the Lord, but I am certain that He knew these events would occur and He used those events to grow me. I see the Lord revealed in His mercy, in His love, and in His promise to never forsake me. I would not trade a single pain that I have endured and risk never seeing what the Lord has to reveal.

There can be blessings in everything.

Unconditional Love

A New Year

As this year ends, a new year begins. In the past, I haven't been much for new year resolutions, but I decided I did wanted to set some goals for myself for 2013.

1) Deactivate my Facebook account! I deactivated my account for a couple weeks several months ago and felt so much better after doing so. I never realized how much time I spent checking status updates posted by people, most of whom I haven't spoken to in over a decade. It suddenly occurred to me that I don't need to know everything about my "friends" and vice versa. I want to make sure that my extra time is being spent focusing on my relationships with God, my husband, and my family.

2) Be a helpmate to my husband. I am so fortunate that God has put me here to help my husband. My job is not simply to cook, clean, and do laundry. God has given me a greater calling. I have just recently discovered how rewarding it is to help my husband by supporting and encouraging him. With each act of kindness I bestow on my husband, I can see him strengthened and his spirit lifted. I want to make an effort to display my love and appreciation to my husband on a daily basis.  

3) Improve my self-control. We women will often talk about how badly we need to go on a diet or that we just want to lose some weight, but I believe the root problem has little to do with food and eating and more to do with a lack of self-control. I have been on yo-yo diets and gained and lost weight multiple times, but when it came down to the real source of the success or failure it was always based on self-control. My goal is to be mindful of both the words that come out of my mouth and the food I put in my body.

Lord, please help me to acknowledge and be reminded of these things every day. I pray that You will guide my thoughts and provide me with the motivation that I need to continue to improve in these areas of my life.

Women of Faith

I heard this story years ago and came across this clip recently and had to share it. In 1956, five young, married couples traveled to the jungles of Ecuador as Christian missionaries. At the time, there were native tribes that had not yet been reached by missionaries and part of their goal was to attempt to make contact with these tribes. In this clip, the women recount the events that unfolded in Ecuador.

The thing that always gets me about this story is their unwavering faith in God. It is amazing how God can take the most devastating circumstances and see us through them; and not just sustain us, but use those situations to grow us. These wives are a great testimony to the love and faithfulness of the Lord. If you get a chance, you should definitely watch the full movie called Beyond the Gates of Splendor.

The Season of Joy

Christmas is definitely my favorite time of year. The only thing that I find lacking is that living in the south we do not get very much snow. Grant has always enjoyed that I put so much effort into making Christmas special for us. Every year, I decorate the house inside and out, bake cookies, play vinyl Christmas records, and watch Christmas movies every night. We even have a tradition of buying each other new Christmas ornaments each year. The thing he loves the most though is that I tend to be particularly cheerful during this time of year.

This has led me to consider why I am not this way everyday of the year. Why is it easier to concentrate all my joyfulness into a single month of the year? Why should my husband only get the best me during Christmas, and receive only leftovers the rest of the year? I can't be perfect, but I can be purposeful in my daily demeanor. I have found that when my spirit is supportive and peaceful, so is Grant. The simplest of actions, like hugging him just a little tighter and a little longer in the morning, can give him encouragement for his day and strengthen our marriage. Let us all challenge each other to be give our husband's the best of ourselves all year round and not just for a season.

The Tale of The Prodigal Wife

I thought it might be appropriate to begin my blog by providing some insight into the reason behind the name of the title, The Prodigal Wife. The story begins with how I met my husband, Grant. As God would have it, I came across Grant online over seven years ago. We had a textbook romance. From the very beginning, I was crazy about him and he absolutely adored me. But, of course, a story has to have a crisis or pivotal moment.

We hadn't even walked down the isle yet, when I began to show a different side of myself. I would question the way he did things and criticize his decisions. Time only made things worse. After nearly two years of marriage, I had become a far cry from the happy-go-lucky, carefree girl Grant once knew. I was uptight and condensing. At this point, we were having quarterly blowups--long, heated arguments about the state of our marriage, which never resulted in any solutions. He felt lonely and eventually began to pull away from me. We were losing our connection. During one of our regular blowups, Grant suddenly proclaimed that he didn't like me anymore and that he was unhappy with our marriage. I had lived in denial too long and the truth hit me like a thousand knives. He had spent the first few years of our marriage loving me, wanting me, and trying to lead me--just as God had commanded him. It was at that moment that I knew what I had done and that I had to fix it. I had failed as a wife, as a helpmate, and as a friend. I had to be intentional about my love and rebuild all that I had destroyed. I began by focusing on my relationship with the Lord. I had to surrender all the broken pieces of myself to God and I watched as the Lord accepted me, as wretched as I was, and He showed me His grace and mercy.   

It is still a working progress. Every day is a new day. Each morning has to begin with with an intentional act to refocus my faith and find my foundation. I thank God that I have Grant, because he cared enough about our marriage to hold me accountable.

Just as the prodigal son was dead and came alive, I was lost and my husband helped find me.

Luke 15:21-24

²¹ “The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’
²² “But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. ²³ Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. ²⁴ For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate.